Saturday, August 2, 2014

No, Brutus, You Are An OUTSIDE Animal...

Don't tell my husband! But today, just before he left to go into town, I got a surprise visitor. I was in the kitchen when I felt something cold and wet hit me on the back of the knee. Thinking I had knocked something food-related off the counter, I turned to look at the floor behind me.
NOT the actual intruder.

What I initially thought was a clump pf freshly mowed grass turned out to be a wee frog. As I stood there making horrified guttural noises the little beast hopped under the wood stove and out of sight.
At this point, hubby came into the house to announce his departure and give me a kiss goodbye. Not wanting to delay him (because he would NEVER have left such a situation unresolved had he known), I calmly wished him a safe trip and saw him out the door. I turned back to the kitchen, peeked under the stove, and the tiny intruder had disappeared!

Instead of panicking, I collected an array of pokey things and pushy things and trappy-catchy things and prepared myself for the hunt.

I got down on my hands and knees, fanny in the air and face near the ground, in order to see which way my unexpected guest might have gone. I saw him, beyond the wood stove and in the living room, next to the coffee table.

A grabbed a clear plastic food storage container and carefully dropped it over him, praying I didn't crush any little appendages. Once he was safely corralled I slipped a magazine under the container. I lifted the entire enclosure with a handy dust pan and slowly moved the entire operation out the front door.

I turned the little fella loose on the front porch. He blinked stupidly for a moment , then flopped sloppily onto the grass. I shouted after him, "Yeah, you're safe THIS time, Slimy, but I see you on this porch again, I'm grabbing a broom and it's FROG HOCKEY!"

Speaking of brooms, I now have to put away about six of them, wipe the floor, wash some Tupperware, and possibly change my shorts.

And Aaron stretched out his hand over the waters of Egypt; and the frogs came up, and covered the land of Egypt. Exodus 8:6