Monday, May 13, 2013

Now We're Cookin'!

94 in the shade! Holy flaming dirtballs, it’s a sauna in here! Yesterday I think I made a big mistake with the mini baking marathon. I churned out three different batches of cookie dough. Chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, and peanut butter. I only baked a dozen of each, but that was enough to send the indoor temperature skyrocketing. The remainder is in the freezer, and if the current trend continues, that’s where it’ll stay. I can’t afford another evening with my semi-bare thighs fused to the furniture.
Thank God it’s supposed to cool down soon. I’ll need substantially more income if I want to use the AC in this house. Luckily the water bill is more forgiving, because today is all about HYDRATION. I made sure the yard got a good soak before the sun reached its zenith. The produce-babies are thriving. The tomatoes have doubled in height and the herbs are climbing out of their pots. The peppers, on the other hand, are stubbornly refusing to change. Spiteful little beasts, they show no gratitude at all for the generous smearing of poo I provided for their greedy roots. Happy Mother’s Day to ME.

The critters out here are getting more brazen. During yesterday’s massive weed-purging, Big Al, our resident tail-less lizard, dashed right under my nose. He stopped, spun around, and stared me down until I noticed that his tail was actually growing back. I felt obliged to compliment him on his accomplishment – AFTER I checked over the fence to be sure no one would hear me. Wow, everything’s blooming this week, even Big Al’s butt. Way to go, Big Al. My butt’s growing too.
The birds are getting braver as well. I guess thirst is a powerful motivator, and the fountain in our yard is a powerful temptation. They no longer wait until I have vacated the area before stopping by for happy hour. It’s all well and good as long as I remember to duck every now and then. Good thing they’re cute, because they’re basically frat boys with wings.

And according to the thermometer outside, we have broken the three-digit mark. I have managed to keep the house substantially cooler with minimal electronics. That’ll be my big accomplishment for the day.  I don’t dare turn on the oven or stove, so odds are dinner will be cold cereal and popsicles (and maybe a margarita or two). Cheers!

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